Being congruent is key to true self fulfilment.

Have you noticed that transgender people are so much more newsworthy than they were ever before? I mean why is that?

It's not like transgender people are some form of human sub species that's only just been discovered. We've actually been around for millenia. 

If you think about this logically the reason we're so newsworthy is because we're now so visible, that some of us actually saying yes we're here and we're transgender and we aren't hiding any longer? But also that people are inspired by us. They see people who live their truth, who align themselves with their true self.

I'm passionate about authentic living and coaching others to live their truth - so this week's blog is going to look specifically at that.  Living your truth or being congruent.  Whilst this is from a transgender woman's perspective, the narrative can be taken and applied by anyone who is not living as they wish to and wants to make a change - to another way of living or being.

I grew up knowing that I was different, from the age of 4, I wished I was a girl. So I always wanted to be something I wasn't. 

I've studied psychology for a long time and one of the basic human drives is for congruence. For who you are on the inside to be aligned with who you are on the outside.

When you're every day behaviour doesn't align with who you are on the inside, when you're unable to express your true-self , when you go through everyday life pretending to be something that you're not? Then the effects of that can have a massive effect on your emotional, psychological and physical wellbeing.

So much so that studies have shown figures of 41% - 47% of transgender people have attempted to, or considered committing suicide at some point in their lives.

You know working with transgender people in a support setting for 5 years now, I've seen first hand the effects of this. 

I know that this is focusing on the negative, but it's dishonest and would be wrong of me to pretend that being transgender is all positive. It isn't.

But I'm going to tell you that living my truth and being congruent with the person I am on the inside has had a massive effect on my life, on my relationships and on the way I now serve others, compared with how I did pre-transition.

I am a great advocate of listening to and working with coaches. If you look at every successful person in the world, they have ALL had a mentor or coach, someone who works with them to bring out the best of them.

One of those people who I have the hugest of respect for is a man called Les Brown. One of his most famous quotes and one of the ones I use as part of my daily affirmations is, "You don't have to be great to get started. But you have to get started in order to be great". 

And it's the same with living your truth. It's difficult I understand that. It's the scariest thing you can do. I know that. I've done it. I moved to Bournemouth UK, not knowing anyone, I started working in an office with over 1000 people not knowing anyone. But I did it. 

I did it because I knew that if I didn't then I would never be truly happy. I would always have those feelings of not being true to myself - not being congruent with who I am on the inside.

I know the reasons many of us avoid making such significant changes, as well as the human drive of congruency there's also the human need of belonging and we fear that we're going to be rejected because if we live as we truly are then others won't accept us. I understand that as I had those feeling too.

But whether it's living as a transgender person, a change in career, leaving a relationship you're not loved or fulfilled in - whatever it is you are going through, until you're living with congruity, until you're living on the outside as you feel on the inside, then you're always going to feel trapped. Part of you will always be yearning for something you're not.

If you want to live on the outside, start aligning this with who you are on the inside.

If you want to watch the training video to go along this blog then you can watch more on YouTube.

You can also download the podcast here.

I'm also offering the first 5 people who use the subject congruent in their contact email to me, 10% off of their first 3 coaching sessions. These spaces are limited and once they're taken the offer has expired. Use this link to contact me.